Good news and bad news.

Bad news first: Thornfield is no more. Bertha Mason burnt it down. She died in the fire, and Edward almost did too, trying to save her. A beam fell on him as he was getting all the servants out.

Good news: Edward is still with us. Blind and missing a hand, but with us all the same. And I would not care if he had lost both hands, I am so glad to see him alive. It is so good to be with him again. I am going to stay with him for as long as he will let me.

Not getting married! Except this time, I'm excited!

Brief update, I’m traveling again. Almost said yes to St. John, but then I knew I needed to get back to Thornfield. So I’m on my way back right now.

Worried and excited as to what I’ll find. I’ll write again soon!

India?

I face yet another conundrum. My cousin, St. John, who so graciously took me in, has proposed marriage. And wants me to come with him to India as a missionary.

Here’s the thing, I’m all for the mission to India. I could do it, easily. I mean, I lived with my aunt for how many years? And it didn't kill me? I could totally rock India. 

But I don’t love him. Well, I love him as a brother, of course. But not anything more. And it would probably kill me if he forced me into this loveless marriage. So I told him I would go as his sister, which is what I essentially am.

But would he have it? Of course not. It’s St. John. The man is, as his sister so aptly put, “inexorable as death.”

He gave me tonight to reconsider. Tomorrow, this battle of wills continues.